infatuatedflip

new beginning?

2011-02-15T08:30:00.003-10:00

So I really need to be strong. I need to really focus on me this time. I gotta learn how to walk the path of life by myself again. The past two months was a horrible horrible two months for me. I think Its been the worst for me. Been cheated on and betrayed over and over again. Lies after Lies. But I dont regret it. It really shows me that something great will come to me. God just has a better plan for me soon.

I kind of realize that those who hurt me in the past got a taste of their medicine and its been worst for them. so Im not gonna dwell on this little bump, I know god will have a way for them to realize their wrong doing and maybe karma will bite them back. Im hoping when that does happen, they will change their ways and not do it again to anyone else.

It just sucks that people have to be so unfaithful and evil. They say they are a good person but they have other agendas planned. and then they have friends who help them and encourages them to do wrong. I just laugh at it now, knowing that soon they will receive a special delivery of karma. People are just evil sometimes. They come off as an innocent and good people but they aint, they are the ones who sin most.

So i say this is another learning lesson for me and I dont regret this experience, Ill take it as another lesson learned ill take it with a grain of salt...haha, a new beginning for me. I know that ill have to really work hard on reaching my goals. Ill just laugh and smile when things and karma bites these people hard.

Chasing Pavements

2011-01-18T22:49:00.004-10:00

Tonight was really hard, I got my closure. It turned out that he was talking to someone else. He says its an old friend, but he lied about it and lied to my face. Last night he said that he'll continue talking to this guy...to me I felt like he chose this guy and not me. I felt so betrayed and so unwanted. I had so much emotions all catching up to me. I felt betrayed, unwanted, disappointed, sad, I just feel like curling up in bed and stay in my room. I was told that I was "weak emotionally" and that hurt so bad.

Being betrayed again, its always the reason why my relationships didn't work. I didn't expect it from this guy. I should have known this was going to happen. I'm just so disappointed that this took place.

In the end, although I'm saddened by this, Ill find a way to accept it in the long run. As long as he is happy then that's what I should be thinking about. He is happy and I should accept it. Ill work on my own happiness someday.

Brand New Year!

2011-01-17T12:02:00.002-10:00

"I made up my mind, I dont need to think it over if Im wrong or am right"
I just made another leaping decision. Its one decision that was really hard for me to do. I was looking for answers, answers to lead me to something.to reassure me that what I am about to do is for the best. Luckily, there was more than enough answers for me.

I decided that Im gonna really try to clean my closet and dust out of my life. Time to start a new venture. Leave all bad memories and what not behind. There comes a moment in my life where I told myself that if ever this happened, Im gonna do me and focus on me for a change. I really didnt want to let go, and its sad that I am but its not the right thing to do if I linger in someones life if that person isnt serious and ready. It just isnt me anymore. I need to stop meeting people like that. People are gonna say that these things are a lesson learned but I think I came across these kind of people too much in my life already. Im done!

new day

2010-11-14T23:18:00.000-10:00

Still Alive

2010-08-17T10:40:00.002-10:00

Life is getting busy again, Took on the responsibility of the family to get everything set up to get a loan for This House we are living in, everything is going as planned, so hopefully in a month or two we will be signing papers. I also volunteered to help organize my parents and my sister's Bills so they wouldnt forget to send them in and what not. Its been great that we as a family have been getting closer because of a lot of things thats been going on which I love.

I AM

2010-07-15T23:08:00.002-10:00

Its been a though month so far.
Despite the fact that I want to be happy, Im not
though I tell myself I am, but im not.
I force myself, but in the end I realize Im not.
At the end of the night, I tell myself tomorrow will be a better day
then tomorrow comes, and things dont get better

bitch slap

2010-07-10T06:57:00.003-10:00

just when I thought I can be free and happy again, I get stabbed in the back. Its been almost a year since I tried to be friends with a particular person and when I think Im ready to give my whole heart and self to someone again, I find out he still has all the CDs, DVDs, pictures of his ex when he said he got rid of them all. I remember him taking me to this place the first time we hung out and told me that particular place is a place he goes to and think and he never took anyone special there before. Then I saw pictures of him and his ex in that same place. Haha, its funny how I keep getting these kind of guys, its like im cursed or something. Ill ride this thing until he confess. I should play all the songs he used to play alot to his ex, teh same songs he played for me. wow. Im such a sucker for liars and cheaters.

I think im on my way...

2010-07-06T13:42:00.002-10:00

Not too sure if I mentioned anything but My family is getting reall serious about buying this house we live in from my aunt. Im in the process of getting everything in place with Thoai, my Loan officer. Its going to be hard but im puching for things to happen. The house is selling for around $600,000. we got the half way mark but im doing things so we can get approved for more. So my dad paid off my car, one things that im most happy about. My dad gave me money to pay off all my credit cards so my credit score will go up and my incmome will do justice on the loan also. Things are looking up for me, straying away from my past that I long to forget and let go, I really think im on my way to do so.

you lost me

2010-06-11T22:24:00.002-10:00

Now I know you're sorry
It's Bittersweet
when you chose to stray
you deceived me
and you'll be ready
but its too late
how could I ever trust you again?

Keep on keeping on.

2010-06-05T06:01:00.001-10:00

There have been days that I no longer can handle to push on. I sometimes don't have any reasons why life is worth living. I see so many people who are selfish, evil and flat out inconsiderate. I keep striving to be a better person and push through life but people makes me so mad. At the end I realize that I'm doing my part and hopefully I will get a better future someday. LOVE...another story, I try but I just feel like each relationships I had was a convenience for them. I was never loved, they were just afraid to be alone and I was replaceable. They could easily be attatched to someone else. And that's what happened. I had to find and realize that for myself. I was never loved and it pains me to know its a reality. I loved but was never loved in return

Eye on the goal

2010-05-22T01:24:00.001-10:00

Over the past few days, my trust and strong will not to show my weakness to be kind was tested in a whole new level. I didn't think I was about to go through another trust type of fight. But you know what, I gave in and gave it another shot, but this time I'm not gonna be too nice. One more time, If someone loses my trust in them, there is no more sympathy, no more explanation and no more excuses to listen to.

Also over this past few days, I realized the person I had once was in a relationship is happy and is committed to someone. I may not be over this person and I don't think I will anytime soon, but I'm happy for him. I know he no longer loves me and I accept that. It would be great to see if we could go back to what we had, but I don't think that'll ever happen, but wishfully thinking.

I also set out to achieve my goals I once had for my self. Little by little I'm fulfilling that and I'm just hungry to see how that will turn out and I'm very anxious to see my journey along the way. I Still wish I had that person on my side, but its sad to know in reality, I don't have him.

Betrayed

2010-05-12T01:38:00.001-10:00

Feeling betrayed again. Another slap in the face, another lie. My heart just keeps getting heavy. I was watching this medical news about the saying "dieing of a broken heart". At first I kind of laughed inside but they had evidence that its true. After tonight I'm hoping it could happen to me. I'm just not meant for this. My heart just keeps getting punched and I'm feeling like my soul keeps getting weaker. I'm slowly losing my will to push.

Woohoo

2010-05-09T07:16:00.001-10:00

So there's a new Christina sing out with nicki minaj, and its pretty good, its called "woohoo", ill post it later. I'm liking more and more and getting more excited for the new album. I also her her new song "you lost me" and the lyrics are genius. Less than one month to go.

Hidden pictures

2010-04-26T17:03:00.001-10:00

So Im out with Adrian and he opened his trunk to put things in and I saw pictures of his ex n him. I'm not mad at that I'm just mad that he said he never had any pic if his ex before. I'm falling away from him more n more, even as a friend. So I'm kind if sad that every relationship I had, I wad lied to about a lot of things. I'm not gonna mention anything, ill just see where this goes...live my life

Lifestyle of the broken hearted.

2010-04-21T09:07:00.001-10:00

so I was listening to some music on my way to work and "lifestyles of the rich and the famous" was playing and that phrase kept playing in my head and then I thought of "lifestyle of the broken hearted". I started cracking up and felt like that really fits me at the moment. Anyways, so I'm supposed to start work at 9 but no one is here. So wtf! Where is the manager? Haha.

Hard

2010-04-14T01:17:00.001-10:00

All I ever wanted was to love andi someone to love me. Someone to respect an listen to me. Someone who would admit when he is at fault. Someone who is always there to support me but will help me when I'm wrong, someone who has no secrets and secret agendas. Till this day I wear a mask, but behind that is the sadness that I fight each day. My past relationships made me hate love. Til this day I don't believe is such thing. I've given my heart and soul to someone three times and three times I had it spit on. This will be the last time ill waste my last tears and the last time I open my heart. Tonight I will cry last tears and be in my own, its just me now.

Miss a touch

2010-04-09T22:42:00.001-10:00

I've been sleeping late lately and I miss being cuddled or cuddling someone. I'm the type of person who can't sleep well without holding and hugging a pillow. I miss sleeping in someone's arms, someone who I believe cares for me so much and lately I haven't had any type of care shown to me. I've been cuddling my pillows more during the nights. I miss someone's warmth during the night.

M,m,I

2010-04-03T13:45:00.001-10:00

I just come to a complete conclusion. I really have no one to turn to. People say they are there when u need them, but that's all talk. What's the use of saying that when u don't mean it. They say you are the first thing to someone but when someone else is there, you become second or third. So I really don't like this thing called love. Sometimes I don't believe there's any such thing. You change ur mind when it comes to friends and such, they just shove you aside.

Love is...

2010-04-02T22:22:00.001-10:00

At times or maybe most of the times, I feel like love isn't for me. I always feel like its better that I don't fall in love and I would have been better that I never loved at all. I'm not talking about family and friends kind of love, but the love you have with someone. Am I over thinking this? It seems like I always get hurt. Leave it like that for now.

im taking shots

2010-03-30T20:24:00.001-10:00

We could just be...

2010-03-24T03:10:00.001-10:00

Most of the times, I feel like its better that I didn't fall in love with anyone. I constantly get hurt and I lose trust. I just found out that a friend of Adrheyn is a bit mad because he doesnt give them time and I feel like I'm to blame...she said it in a way that im the reason. Adrheyn keeps telling me that he doesn't want to go out but I know now that he does, he texts his friends that he's bored and asks them what's everyone doing. So I kind of feel like I did this to him. I tell him to go out but he doesn't...at times I just think it would've been better if we didn't have this kind of closeness., just friends...maybe he'll find someone his friends would approve of right...its sad to think so but I could be right

Testing

2010-03-24T00:41:00.001-10:00

I finally got a chance to upload an app. On my phone that can add post to my blog. I'm just testing to see how easy it is.

Not Myself Tonight

2010-03-23T06:58:00.003-10:00

The Official Christina Aguilera revealed today that her new single is called "Not myself Tonight". Also this whole week, there will be new info revealed each day. Then Im thinking, Monday, (Mar. 29) they will release the single out to the radio and to the public. Im really excited to hear the song.

Here she comes

2010-03-19T20:57:00.002-10:00

The Christina Aguilera's official website is updated but there is a countdown, we dont know what the countdown is really but its supposedly something big. People are saying the single will come out, the new promo pictures are going to be out and some are saying that she will be performing at the American Idol "teen idol" week. We really dont know, but Im just really anxious to see and hear what Christina is going to bring to the plate this time around. Lots of executives from sony BMG and RCA are saying it is an awesome album and her collaborators are saying its one of her greatest work. Collaborators include SIA, MIA, GOLDFRAPP, Flo-RIDA, LINDA PERRY and others to name a few.

Christina Aguilera

mama

2010-03-08T18:14:00.003-10:00

This morning was one of the scariest event. I thought I was going to lose my mom. One of the people why I keep trying to better myself in many ways. I have never broke down and cried that much in a while, the last time was when I was heart broken. I could just see my mom trying to fight the pain, the pain I cant even start to describe. She was very weak , she couldn't feel her face and hands. My mom sounded like she was going through a stroke, but at the same time, she wasnt; its really hard to say what happened. The hardest part was seeing my sisters and my dad trying to tell her to fight and seeing all of us crying our eyes out. The night before, she kept saying "matay ako'n" (im dieing). I didnt want her to say that. Its really hard for me to keep pushing on and be more positive about life, if someone who is my few inspiration is weak like that. Im thankful for all of my friends who are supporting my family though all of this. Thankfully my mom is a bit better and im praying that she bets as strong as she used to be. Right now, she is at the hospital with my sisters. I literally have so many thoughts running through my head and is really boterhing me. I guess life really is like a roller coaster, why cant it just be a steady or a up hill climb?

braceface

2010-03-01T19:48:00.003-10:00

I finally got my braces on and its hella hurting like abeetch. I just cant wait for it to come off and be ready haha. Im trying to get used to it.

Spent the weekend at the Hotel with Adrheyn. We decided to eat at Red Lobster for Dinner but the line was too long so we decided to walk the Waikiki Strip. Saw some interesting things. We ended up eating dinner AT Atlantis Seafood and steak REstaurant. Saw my old friend Steven there, had Ahi because I cant really chew on anything yet. Had a couple drinks there too. We were at the Stip for a while, just walking and spending time, we even saw some sute kids singing, I think we stayed and watched for a good 30in. Althoug it was a good night, that same night we were watching the news about Chile having an earthquake and didnt think much of it, just saddened by the news. I woke up the next morning around 2am and kept getting text messages from people. I replyed back and watched the news. Franticly, I got up and started packing up. Adrheyn had to work at 6am so we got up and got ready and Adrheyn went to work and he droped me home. I went to the store with my three sisters and got loads of water and food, and let me tell you, the store was a mess. tons of people. Got home and I fell asleep. The news were expectnig for it to come at 11am and I selpt the whole thing until 3pm. Adrheyn called me and we decided to go back to the hotel.

We got ready for Christine's Sisters baby shower. It was a great party, had fun and laughs and good food. Went back to the hotel and just lounged around. The nxt day we cehcked out and ate at a Chinese Restaurant for lunch. We then went and got Adrheyn's new Iphone. Actually both of us are getting new phones. I was debating of getting an Iphone for a while but didnt want to switch to at&t. I opted out to get the New Nexus One. My cousin is buying my Mytouch phone from me so Its a good deal. Im so excited to get it and get a chance to play with it, just kind of afraid that I might find a better phone after..haha.

In other news, Still waiting for that damn Chrisitna Aguilera single top drop. She is supposedly finished filmig her movie "burlesque" and that she started her campaign/marketing plan for the album but really dont know what it is yet. They are planning something different from what she usually does, really excited to know what that is.

poilce shut us down

2010-02-15T23:36:00.003-10:00

yet again things happened since the last time I posted..cops being called, drama drama drama. Aside from all that, I can say that Im a stronger person and I think Im really ready to keep moving forward without looking back and wont have anyone hold me back from my goals.

So I was offered an opportunity to advance at the bank, and Im still thinking of it, still waiting for a promotion to the next level but I was asked if I wanted to start opening accounts, I was thinking that Its going to be a new challenge for me but also this could be a new adventure for me too. Adrheyn is encouraging me to do it but I dont know yet, still thinking and I just might. This is the kind of stuff that Ive been asking, better opportunity and new direction in life. So I still have a couple of days to say "yes". So Im still sitting on that thought.

Thanks

2010-02-11T20:28:00.002-10:00

Just like the birds that whistle in the trees, at peace so happily. And through my storms, you stood strong for me

here it goes

2010-02-05T06:21:00.002-10:00

a lot happened since I last posted, and I'm not gonna mention all of them. Yesterday was my first day off from work in a while and really excited, and also went in for my consultation to start on my braces, it was great and I was really excited but what made me sick was that I'll be paying $5,100 out of my own pocket. .grrr. but I'm still going through with it. I went to see "when in Rome" aswell and it was an okay movie,it had its own funny moments which I love. after the movie I had dinner with the Besty. Tomorrow is my other day off Nd I'm not sure what ill be doing but ill enjoy not work for one day.

Can I have a single please?

2010-01-29T21:58:00.003-10:00

So the first day of me being single was weird, It felt like I wasnt...makes sense? no? too bad. Yeah so Adrheyn is no longer together, I made a decision to end it for a while due to the fact taht I dont think I can commit in this relationship fully since I have so many things going on, family shit, work, school and things that just keeps happening. Im glad that he understands and is willing to wait for me. We agreed to stay as friends and Im thnkafull for that, I still have a best friend taht I can jsut talk to and will listen, and Im here for Adrheyn too. SO hopefully this is a way for me to improve myself. And who knows, maybe I can fix everything fast..

mama

2010-01-27T21:55:00.002-10:00

My mom was rushed to the Hospital last night. She just felt so weak and she is anemic too so that was really hard for her to handle. So i stayed with her over night and I tryied my best to keep her company and get her anything. I just hate seeing her like that. I tried my best to sleep last night but I couldnt. So I was practically awake for 24 hours. It was one of the longest day of my life, I wish she gets better soon. My mom is still at the hospital and trying to rest before she gets this procedure done tomorrow to see whats really wrong with her and if they know what it is, they will do some preventive stuff. I just wish my mom will get better soon. I love my mom so much...I think she is the only one who hasnt really broken my heart, everyone else did.

X

2010-01-21T23:16:00.003-10:00

Christina Aguilera song is going to be premiered tmorrow at the HOPE FOR HAITI teleton. Its not confirmed if its her New single but its going to be part of her new album. The following day, all songs will be available on itunes. Im just happy new song is coming...

inspiration

2010-01-20T00:45:00.003-10:00

Ok shit is happening again. Im just surrounded by negativity, home, work, school..what have you. I dont know who to turn to for my inspiration to keep pushing on. Theres no person I can just talk to and vent and they will help me. I have no place to just think straight, I thought I did but not true. I dont have an escape from all this shit I have to go through. Its real hard to keep smiling. I find happiness, then the world takes it away from me. It all points to my reasoning that I dont belong here, I have no room. Im just tired of being alone, crying, just pretending that Im happy. Im just really really tired. I just want someone to help me a little bit and someone who wont dissapoint me and bring me down. Someone who will "catch me when I fall" kind of person, someone who is there for me. I want and need someone like that. People are just mean, no heart always ready to hurt me.

So Hard

2010-01-19T23:57:00.002-10:00

So Adrheyn lost my trust for him. Its going to be hard to gain it back, hes been saying sorry but things lead back to him doing it. He keeps talking about how communication is one of the main key to a good relationship but he dosent do it himself. We've talked about it last time when he did something and that was fine but he did it again, So I kind of took that to heart. People say if you do it once, its ok but the second time, then thats another story. To me, its going to be hard to believe what he says now. Hes been oever doing it with texts and stuff and I told him that it dont seem sincere anymore. I think Ive had it with Love. This just makes me want to be single. I really do, people just keeps breaking my heart. When will I find someone or someone find me, that one person who will love me more that I can love. But im pretty sure that if this relationship dont work out, Ill be single all my life. I had my share of tears and heartbreaks. I hate this!

TINA&CHER

2010-01-07T22:31:00.003-10:00

Candid pictures of Christina & Cher surfaced today. Much more excted about the album and seeing pictures of Christina and Cher filming their movie "Burlesque" mkaes me more curious about the movie. Critics are already giving it reviews even though its not even done yet. Anyways Im just waiting for new things about her Album and Movie. Oh and Christinaand Cher will be presenting together at the Golden Globes..cant wait.

and another one

2010-01-07T00:35:00.001-10:00

Adrheyn and I had a little bump, so to speak. Things were said and aliitle bit of the ugliness came out. So heres another person that kind of made me have a bitter taste at the world. He said something that made me real sad and kind of not want to say anything on my mind to this guy anymore, he makes me not want to trust this guy. Trust is a really sensitive issue for me. If you lose my trust, its really hard to win it back and Adrheyn had said things and kind of reveled. Yes he did something behind my back and its still lingering in the back of my mind thinking what if there was more? or what if he will do it again.? Those kind of stuff makes me not want to be in a relationship. I dont know anymore.

Bionic

2010-01-04T22:32:00.005-10:00

More news about Christina Aguilera's album are popping out everyday. The title of the album is called "Bionic" confirmed by Marie Claire Magazine. Couple song titles have also surfaced. 2010 will be a good year for us Christina Fans...haha. New album New movie, New fragrance New jewlelry line and we dont know whats it store. Im just real excited and anxious to hear the album or a little snippet of one song. I just cant wait, peoples been texting me and things about it too.

"I'm leavin' it to change"

2010-01-03T18:28:00.003-10:00

My family is going through with moving and buying a new house. There is a house that they found. Its pretty brand new and pretty big. They are awaiting a call from the realtor right this very moment. I decided not to move in with them since Ive been planning on moving out anyways. There wont be enough room for me either way.

I might be moving out I say about 3-4 months from now. So apartment or house hunting is in full throttle. Im a little excited but still a little scared, I dont know how it will be to live on my own, which also means my financial responsiblity will be more strict. Gotta tretch my money now.

The JumpOff

2010-01-02T20:36:00.003-10:00

I rang in the New Year differently this year, I had dinner and champagne with Adrheyn. He cooked me dinner and I on the other hand (I cant cook)took the inetiative to buy the champagne and dessert and such. We popped fireworks with his neighbors after dinner. I gave him a $100 bucks to put in his wallet with the traditional red envelope and so did I and gave him one of my $2 bills aswell, hoping next year will be much better financially aswell. We had a slight fight/argument that night too, and Im hoping that wasnt a bad sign for us.

The new year kind of started ok and I staying positive that it'll be more of a fun ride than last year. If not than its another learning chapter for me, Im all ready for a heartbreak or any other obstavcle I may face. I think Im more stronger now, I dont let anything stand in my way anymore, I think I really can stand my own ground.

I went to see my dentist the other day and took care of my cavities, and Im all good to go. Im going for my consultation in a week or two to get my braces. I know Im 22 and will have braces, but its all good. I want a better me this year.

break the dawn

2009-12-30T00:49:00.003-10:00

So I finally got my results for my classes and Im proud to say that I passed both of my classes and ready for the next semester of school. But kind of dreading to keep myself awake in class. Its kind of hard to motivate myself when there isnt much people who is supporting me, Im paying my own bills and paying my own tuition.

My relationship with Adrheyn is good, but many things have changed. We've talkd about many serious issuses and have passed it but we also talked about the "what if we dont last?" Im very positive that If we ever do break up, Im not going to be in one for a while. I think If we do break ways, I would want to be single for a while and just focus on myself. Coming from a two year relationship with my previous boyfriend taught me many sides of a person, and many sides of me. I didnt think I could ever love someone that I did for him, but I know he's happy now and Im trying to find my own happiness with Adrheyn. Im happy but still have that wall. Issues with my family and issues with trusting someone fully is holding me back from this.

I dont think I took enough time for myself, took time to be single and find myself. Its hard to admit but Im really not happy with my life. I dont know what it is.

So today is my first dayoff in weeks and Ive got plans to do this day off of mine and really excited...thats all I have to say

not this year

2009-12-23T23:55:00.002-10:00

Its another year, it dont feel like Christmas. There is just not Christmas spirit this year. People are just not making it feel like christmas, people are still rude and mean, they dont even know why we celebrate christmas. I dont see or feel the Christmas spirit this year. Not this Year. I feel like Im alone again tihs year, and Ive had a lonely Christmas before and this is one of them, sad but true.

Habang May buhay

2009-12-20T23:02:00.003-10:00

As I was wrapping some of the Christmas gifts to hand out and watching TV, I realized that I have so many things that I need to improve on, things I need to do better, better myself and so on. I need to push myself more, I dont think Im doing that yet, although Iam working real hard and going to school and trying to reach my goals, it just feels like its not enough. I mean its a start, but I just dont have the balance to do everything, sometimes, I dont have enough time to do things on time. Thats what I need to improve on too, time management. Even though I have someone in my life, it feels like theres something else Im missing, maybe Im not happy with myself, like someone told me once, "you need to love yourself before you can love someone truly."

Maybe I dont love myself, which I think is true. I look in the mirror and sometimes I dont like what I see and sometimes I dont see anyone, (metaphorically speaking of course. I just need to set my goals and time better. Im trying hard to do so.

changes

2009-12-13T02:43:00.003-10:00

This week have been such an eventful week. My nephew Elijah came home to visit just in time for my other nephew xavier's first birthday. I took him with me to do some of my errands, bought him lunch and stuff. It made me realise how fast all my nephews are growing up and it also made me realise that I too am growing. I learn something about myself each day, at times they are bad, but Im thankful that I see that so I can better myself and thats all that matters in the end. Knowing your own your faults and flaws is better than having someone tell you and not beleiving it and in the end you dont change and get any better. Although things do happen that bring me down sometmes or it discourages me, I try my best to just keep smiling and just move on. I dont want to show my weakness to anyone anymore.

Change is everywhere, personal, career, and everything else. Job wise? Its sad that this week was a difficult time and a very much of a surprise. I wont go into it but I just hope they will be ok. In the short time Ive gotten to know them and have worked with them, it was a great time. I know ill see them some other time but I wish them the best. In the next few weeks or maybe days, I might be going back to full-time, I was told it wasnt possible but under these circumstances, it is. Im happy about all the changes but Im still anxious to see if I can handle a full-time and a part-time job with school aswell. Ive done this before but I think its way different know. I just hope I can push myself harder this time around but still manage to keep healthy and be happy in what Im doing. I just keep parying to god to help guide me in the right direction, I have always asked him this, I know at times I dont get what I deserve and although the good guys always comes last,the wait is worth it.

up in here

2009-12-08T20:04:00.003-10:00

My sister is moving to Seattle, not too sure when she is officially flying out but Its another change for me. No one to joke around with in the house and no one who is on my side. No one will back me up anymore, kind of sad that shes moving but happy that shes gonna be with my nephew in Seattle. I miss my nephew too, I miss my little boy. Im glad he's coming down for Christmas though. So my sister has a bigger room that I do so Ill be moving into that room and giving my room to my other nephew, Its time for him to get his own room too, he'll be going on to middle school next year.

Its kind of nice that my sister is moving though, I now have a reason to get away from this island and visit her once in a while. I cant wait for that.

pour it on

2009-12-05T20:14:00.003-10:00

Its saturday night and Im stuck home once again. Its kind of good to go out once in a while. Its been a while since I did. Im not the type to stay home, I like to go out. Im really bored right now, I should be studying but I need to go out before finals!

X gon' give it to you

2009-12-03T16:36:00.004-10:00

So more and more news and details about Christina Aguilera's upcoming album is beginning to get me more hyped. Theres all these litle rumors and news about her collaborating with these songwriters and producers give me this overwhelming orgasmic sensation, Im not saying its a bad thing, I just want this album now. If it dosent come out soon, we all know she wants this album to be locked down til she finishes filming her new movie but atleast a little snippet of one song is good too. I really am excited to hear and she what she came up with. Good collabos with Sia, Claude Kelly, Linda Perry, M.I.A, Santigold, Flo-rida and the list goes on so im uber excited, ready to piss my pants excited. Btw the album is tentatively called "light and Darkness". I doubt thats the title, but hey anything can happen from now til the release date.

rain

2009-11-30T21:02:00.002-10:00

I have come a realisation that Im still learning who my true friends are. I thought I knew but I guess I really dont know who they are. Sad but its real. I really need to focus on myself for a change, do things that will make me happy and will benefit me. Its time for me to make myself happy, reward myseld for a change. Im not being selfish, its my turn. Ive been the guy who finishes last because I let everyone else go first, I think about people before me kind of thing. But its a bit tiring now, damn its my turn

the face of an insomniac

2009-11-30T04:06:00.003-10:00

I cant sleep, its 4 in the morning and Im still up. I took some random pictures a while ago and decided to post them up. Been drinking alot of water since 10 last night and Im still up. I dont know whats keeping me up but this needs to stop. I really dont have a sleep pattern. Its very unhealthy that I dont get enough sleep. I should start taking sleeping pills again.

getting over

2009-11-28T18:16:00.002-10:00

Yesterday was ok. Good thing I didnt go out into the crazy stores. The bank job was pretty good. It wasnt as busy as I expected it to be. I took a whole entire pie to work and thats what I ate for lunch, yes I know Im fat..haha. After the bank I had to work the second job right after. Now that was crazy, people were all around me. all the tables were a mess, I didnt even know where to start fixing things. After closing time, it was a releif but still was a crazy mess of a store. We had discussions with everyone there. Jackie said that someone was talking behind her back and the manager wanted to know who but Jackie didnt want to say who. It was a bit sad that I knew who it was. We finished around 2 am, then I headed to walmart to see what I could find, but no success.

I gotta rest for a bit. I just finished working at the bank then start getting ready for the otehr job.

Happy Thanksgiving

2009-11-26T16:29:00.003-10:00

Its thanksgiving. Its a different one this year for me in many ways, But I wont go into that. I actually cooked this year, all turned out pretty good. I did my usual errands to get things here and there. Waiting for everyone else to arrive at the house and finish cooking too. Then Im heading out to another dinner party. Well hope you guys enjoyed your Thanksgiving and dont stuff yourself. Im gonna try not to.

My first

2009-11-25T18:40:00.004-10:00

So Im finally using this blogsite again. My internet journal if you would.

So this past week have been very busy for me and will continue for a while. Just like yesterday, I woke up at 5 in the morning. The usual morning routine, I dropped of my sister and dad to work. Got ready for class. Then after that got ready for job #1 and after that change and got ready for job #2. I finished my day at 11:30PM. Im going to be doing that tonight too. Gotta work tonight til 12 mid-night. We are setting up for the anticipation of the "black friday" sale fiasco. Its gonna be another night of folding, hanging, sensoring and lifting heavy snazers for me.